The Power of Money

I subscribe to Fr. Richard Rohr's Daily Meditations, from the Center for Action and Contemplation. This one was beautiful and so I want to share here, as exploring our relationship with money is the central theme of many of my blogs. "In her book The Soul of Money, Lynne Twist explains the power we’ve given our image of money and reminds us of our true longings and needs.

Money is not a product of nature. Money doesn’t grow on trees. . . . Money is an invention . . . a fabrication. . . . Money still facilitates the sharing and exchange of goods and services, but somewhere along the way the power we gave money outstripped its original utilitarian role. 

We have made money more important than we are, given it more meaning than human life. Humans have done and will do terrible things in the name of money. They have killed for it, enslaved other people for it, and enslaved themselves to joyless lives in pursuit of it. . 

For most of us, this relationship with money is a deeply conflicted one, and our behavior with and around money is often at odds with our most deeply held values, commitments, and ideals—what I call our soul. . . . I believe that under it all . . . what deeply matters to human beings, our most universal soulful commitments and core values, is the well-being of the people we love, ourselves, and the world in which we live.

We really do want a world that works for everyone. We don’t want children to go hungry. We don’t want violence and war to plague the planet. . . . We don’t want torture and revenge and retribution to be instruments of government and leadership. Everyone wants a safe, secure, loving, nourishing life for themselves and the ones they love and really for everyone. . . . I also believe that under their fears and upsets, even the deepest ones, everyone wants to love and be loved, and make a difference with their lives. . . . I believe people also want an experience of their own divinity, their own connectedness with all life and the mystery of something greater than we comprehend.

Each of us experiences a lifelong tug-of-war between our money interests and the calling of our soul. When we’re in the domain of soul, we act with integrity. We are thoughtful and generous, allowing, courageous, and committed. . . . We are open, vulnerable, and heartful. . . . We are trustworthy and trusting of others. . . . We feel at peace within ourselves and confident that we are an integral part of a larger, more universal experience, something greater than ourselves."

Lynne Twist, The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life (W. W. Norton & Company: 2017, ©2003), 8-9, 11-12, 17.

Source: The Power of Money by Fr. Richard Rohr

What Marshall Rosenberg (creator of NVC) taught Miki Kashtan about money

We organised an event in London titled ' Liberation in Three Chapters: Personal and Collective Practices for Embracing a Collaborative Future' with Miki Kashtan, an International trainer for Nonviolent Communication. The first section of the day focused on money, which is a system we use to allocate resources. We covered the below material (if it sounds ambitious for 2 hours, it was and it was so rich in terms of content & practical takeaways- no pun intended with rich) which was all filmed and released on YouTube, covering the below subjects:

  • From Exchange and Accumulation to a Flow of Giving and Receiving

  • Gift and exchange paradigms.

  • Money and interdependence.

  • Ownership and stewardship.

  • Putting needs at the center.

  • Inequality and language.

  • A world beyond coercion.

  • Four practices for a more liberated relationship with money.

Here it is. Hope you find it useful.

This is the first of a series of three talks that Miki Kashtan gave in August 2018 at 42 ACRES (London) in the framework of a work shop called "Social Change Series - Liberation in Three Chapters: Personal and Collective Practices for Embracing a Collaborative Future".

Money Workshop transformations - Positive changes

One of the most gratifying parts of offering spaces to explore one's relationship with money, towards the closing of a workshop, for me, is seeing the glow and palpable relief on participant's faces and the sense of expansion and new possibilities felt after having shifted some money stories. There is nothing like hearing real life feedback after - this is the icing on the cake! After a recent money workshop specifically facilitated for childless women, organised by me and facilitated by Tim Malnick, here is some feedback about positive changes since the workshop that we received from Ali, published in its entirety with her permission below:

"At the workshop, you asked us to let you know of any changes we'd seen since the money workshop and I've had a few so wanted to let you know...I'm less tight/ anxious at work - still could do with more loosing I'm sure but the tight control/ anxiety about needing money has lessened considerably which is great. I no longer feel I need to hold on so tight which makes it much easier.

I've negotiated 1 day off every fortnight so I have long weekends every other week - ok not a huge massive change (for now) but it's a good first step and my inner manipulator helped me to find the right path through negotiations which was enjoyable!

We bought a camper-van for £15k - it doesn't make economic sense to own one and friends told me I didn't need one and my husband questioned if we'd use it but I felt really definitely it was something I really wanted for freedom and fun as we rented one in NZ and enjoyed it so much. I'm deeply excited about adventures and our first trip in 2 weeks to Devon coast is my first long weekend from work!

The shadow work we did also made me realise that as well as money, babies are magical beings that people can project their hopes and fears onto. They can't talk back either (to begin with) and not having children I realised I was partly guilty of this also. So the workshop also helped me realise that having children (however wonderful) are not the only paths to purpose, meaning, fun, connection, belonging, legacy, nurture etc. And I can create that in a different way too. Again I'm not perfect but great step in a positive direction.

Thanks again for the great workshop,

Ali"

Money lessons from Shoe Dog by Phil Knight (creator of Nike).

"What if there were a way, without being an athlete, to feel what athletes feel? To play all the time, instead of working? Or else to enjoy work so much it becomes essentially the same thing." - Phil Knight

Reading business memoir books can take a bit of work and I don’t mean the fun kind of work; with certain books, I have to give myself motivational speeches by page 15  and encourage myself to plod along. Do you know that feeling? Not this book. Not only a fun read, it also helped me connect with the author as a human being, flaws and all. A deep honesty shone through in the stories & anecdotes about Phil Knight’s own shortcomings, his mistakes, management style, accidental great decisions, business highs and a sometimes flawed relationship with his children - which was truly refreshing. It all started with a $50 loan from his father; today we all recognise the Nike swoosh- the whole story is such a gripping, fascinating & hilarious read.

Some of my favourite lines from the book, which speak to his relationship with money, work and business are below with my thoughts:

On business:

“It seems wrong to call it ‘business’. It seems wrong to throw all those hectic days and sleepless nights, all those magnificent triumphs and desperate struggles, under that bland, generic banner: business. What we were doing felt like so much more. Each new day brought fifty new problems, fifty tough decisions that needed to be made, right now, and we were always acutely aware that one rash move, one wrong decision could be the end. The margin for error was forever getting narrower, while the stakes were forever creeping higher – and none of us wavered in the belief that ‘stakes’ didn’t mean ‘money’. For some, I realize, business is the all-out-pursuit of profits, period, full stop, but for us business was no more about making money than being human is about making blood. Yes, the human body needs blood. It needs to manufacture red and white cells and platelets and redistribute them evenly, smoothly, to all the right places, on time, or else. But that day-to-day business of the human body isn’t our mission as human beings. It’s a basic process that enables our higher aims, and life always strives to transcend the basic processes of living – and at some point in the late 1970’s, I did, too. I redefined winning, expanded it beyond my original definition of not losing, of merely staying alive. That was no longer enough to sustain me, or my company. We wanted, as all great businesses do, to contribute, and we dared to say so aloud. When you make something, when you improve something, when you deliver something, when you add some new thing or service to the lives of strangers, making them happier, or healthier, or safer, or better, and when you do it all crisply and efficiently, smartly, the way everything should be done but so seldom is – you’re participating more fully in the whole grand human drama. More than simply alive, you’re helping others to live more fully, and if that’s business, all right, call me a businessman. Maybe it will grow on me.”

It is striking how in touch Phil Knight is with his mission, vision and a ‘higher aim’ which included meaning, contribution and efficiency - needs that all humans share. Business can be life-alienating rather than life-enriching, with a focus merely on the bottom line, profits or ‘what’s in it for me?’. It can also be alive, full of meaning, play with a laser sharp focus on delivering value and improving the quality of life of the customers (or clients) you work with. Having empathy for what is important to a customer is so important in business & also doing business for more than just ‘money’.

On money:

“When it came rolling in, the money affected us all. Not much, and not for long, because none of us was ever driven by money. But that's the nature of money. Whether you have it or not, whether you want it or not, whether you like it or not, it will try to define your days. Our task as human beings is not to let it.

I bought a Porsche. I tried to buy the Los Angeles Clippers, and wound up in a lawsuit with Donald Sterling. I wore sunglasses everywhere, indoors and out. There’s a photo of mine in a ten-gallon gray cowboy hat - I don’t know where or when or why. I had to get it all out of my system. Even Penny wasn’t immune. Overcompensating for the insecurity of her childhood, she walked around with thousands of dollars in her purse. She bought hundreds of staples, like rolls of toilet paper, at a time. It wasn’t long before we were back to normal. Now, to the extent that she and I ever think about money, we focus our efforts on a few specific causes. We give away $100 million each year, and when we’re gone we’ll give away most of what’s left.”

From my other blogs, you may notice that I spend quite a lot of time wondering about the unconscious drivers around our relationship with money. Some of us need to act out behaviours several times before we get to the bottom of it - and our childhood’s have a lot to do with our relationship with money too. As Phil refers to it ‘get it all out of my system’. Glad to note that his wife Penny and he did explore what they truly wants to do with money and they are now philanthropists.

An inspirational read, highly recommend!

Oh, and like me if you wonder what ‘Shoedog’ means, it is an industry slang name given to a veteran of the footwear industry. Someone who has dedicated their life to selling shoes is sometimes referred to as “an old shoedog”.

Further reading:

Shoe Dog - Gates Notes

My Favourite Books I read in 2017

My intention for 2018 is to read every day, meditate every day, cut back on social media time and be more like Cal Newport who inspires me with his writings on 'deep work'. January is a digital detox month and my brain already feels so much clearer. I cheated a little bit though and have sent the odd tweet. For the most part, though, I have been 'good' and spent more time offline with friends and on the phone. I digress. Back to my favourite books listed below. Oh, I only read non-fiction - so there’s no lists for fiction if that is your thing.

Non-Fiction

Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez,‎ Vicki Robin, Monique Tilford and Mark Zaifman

A very sneaky book...in the sense, that it is non-prescriptive and yet, it gets you to follow some basic steps such as methodologically tracking all your income & expenses, which ultimately leads you to reflect, introspect, get clear and make different decisions with both earning, spending and using money. You start seeing money as an exchange of life energy and have a logical way of seeing this- see my post - Frugal is Freedom for more on it. Also, if you are interested in FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early), this is a good book to read.

Misbehaving: The Making of Behavioural Economics by Richard Thaler

If you had any illusions about how rational we humans are with money, this book sets you straight. Interesting research, great anecdotes and useful to learn the psychology behind money decisions.

Finance for Normal People: How Investors and Markets Behave by Meir Statman

Having heard Meir Statman speak on podcasts, I grabbed this book as I found his insights worthwhile. He talks about the emotional, expressive and utilitarian uses for money. We compartmentalize money into buckets, have incredibly foolish behaviour with it, take mental shortcuts, are overconfident investors and so much more. Meir helps investors reflect on what they really want from their investments focussing on what is the money for  - retirement, children's education, socially responsible investing and so on. He also advocates automating investments. Overall, a worthwhile read and useful especially if you invest and want to understand yourself as an investor better.

Non-Investment related

The Nonviolent Life by John Dear

What is a nonviolent life and how can we be nonviolent to ourselves, others and join a global movement to impact the world? John Dear, a Nobel Peace Prize nominee attempts to answer this question and does so beautifully. Bear in mind, he is a Christian and so teachings of Jesus (whose message of nonviolence was radical for his time- love your enemy, what?) are sprinkled liberally through the book which I actually enjoyed. I bought the book for myself and gifted it to a few friends.

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Harari

First of all, Yuval Harri practices Vipassana, also known as Insight Meditation and does 60-day silent retreats; he plans his working year around that and schedules it first. For this, I already hugely admire him. Secondly, I find history very dull and could never get into it in college or school. However, this book - I could not put down. I also like that he weaves relevant connection to our present day issues whether it be talking about colonialism, racism or money stories; worth buying and savouring every page. There is no thirdly.

The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander

I heard about this book via Miki Kashtan, an international Nonviolent Communication teacher whom I deeply admire and trust. The book made me quite angry & disgusted. No, the book didn't do that, I chose to. I felt quite angry on reading the book and yet, I was glad to have read it - we need to be better educated about crime and 'justice'.  The book shines a light on racial segregation, colour blindness, how the prison system in America almost substitutes slavery. It is very thought-provoking and well worth the emotional aggravation you may feel on reading it.

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William Irvine

A great manual for life, if you are interested in Stoicism, then even better. It talks about reducing worry and focusing only on things we can actually control (not very much). I love the challenge of letting go of the 'illusion' of control we have and learning a philosophy that helps you have a truly joyful life. I became interested in Stoicism through the work of Tim Ferris and so glad I bought this book, highly recommend.

Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City by Matthew Desmond

Winner of the 2017 Pulitzer prize for non-fiction, it is an incredible read. Matthew Desmond is an ethnographer, he lives in communities in the United States that struggle with housing and tells an honest, heart-breaking account of incredible characters who struggle to keep a roof over their head. The struggle with homelessness is so real, the landlords have a lot of power with eviction and it seems the system almost obstructs survival for tenants who fall behind. Residential stability is important for psychological stability and community stability. Families lose so much with eviction. I read recently that this book also made it to Barack Obama's recommended book list for 2017.

Further reading:

My favourite books on Money and Personal Finance